I wrote an in depth response about (from my experience) how to give good head, did you read that?

(http://www.formspring.me/juliesummers/q/298672674652031728)

What do you mean by you’ve never really had sex before? You’ve “sort of” had sex? Are you both virgins, or do you mean the two of you just haven’t slept with each other yet?

The very best sex in passionate sex based in enthusiastic consent. I hate to break it to you, but if one of you really isn’t into it completely, it won’t be that great. For me, the most important part is that you both really want to do it, and are totally in the mood. There is no reason at all to rush it (especially since, for the girl at least, it tends to be totally overrated — at least until you have become comfortable and mature in your sexuality and know what feels good or not). You don’t want to come to resent him, so make sure that you’re not at all doing this for him (vs. doing it for yourself) — and that includes doing it to try and keep him, because you think it’s expected of you, or because you want to validation of knowing you can please a man and/or knowing a man wants you. I won’t ask your age, because it’s none of my business how old you are when you start having sex, but I will tell you that I started far too young and it contributed to an unhealthy relationship with sexuality that has taken me many many years to recover from.

Anyway — I’d definitely recommend exploring your own body by yourself first so that you know what feels good to you down there, knowing what hurts, and are able to communicate that to your partner. In terms of him not being able to guide you, due to him being inexperienced as well, he can just really focus on the sensations he gets while you’re pleasuring him, and based only on the moment tell you when something feels good so you can do more of that, or tell you when something is uncomfortable or painful so you can stop. It’s great that you two are at about the same level of experience and can go through these developments together.

As I was saying before though, the best sex I’ve had was also the most passionate sex I’ve had, and that starts before any clothes are even removed. Do you have any idea what gets you excited? I have some things that I’ve known, since before I ever started having sex, turned me on and there are others I’ve discovered since (eg. rough-housing, being dominated/held down (not in a painful way), exhibitionism, teasing him and seeing how badly it makes him want me, a glass of wine :P, etc are all things that always get me in the mood). Pay attention to things that make you want to be close, passionate, and intimate with your guy, and remember that feeling that way toward him often requires full trust, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you or your body if you don’t find yourself feeling that way toward him. .

I would definitely recommend waiting, yes- until you are ready, but also until there is a moment of genuine passion and closeness that organically leads up to the moment, rather than preplanning and forcing the act due to it being a convenient and/or planned time. It’s a shitty feeling and scenario to feel obligated to consent, just because it happens to be a time you two decided on weeks in advance —- and remember, you are NEVER obligated to have sex with anyone (including oral and manual sex) if you are not 100% into it and consenting enthusiastically (and even if you give consent, remember you can revoke it at ANY time if you change your mind). Don’t do anything sexual that you’re not comfortable with or it can lead to forming an unhealthy brand of sexuality, rather than forming your own genuine sexuality

Questions, Comments, Concerns?